Using Emotional Intelligence

It is not enough to know how to do your job or to be a very intelligent person.  People who are not emotionally smart waste time on personality conflicts and complaining.  They lose self control when faced with tense and stressful situations. 

Intellectual knowledge and technical skills are no longer sufficient for success at work or in life.  While factual knowledge and how-to-skills continue to be important, emotional intelligence skills have become even more crucial and valuable.  Relationships with associates and customers depend on your ability to communicate effectively one-on-one and in groups. 

Emotional intelligence is one of several types of intelligence required for success in all kinds of situations.  People have different abilities in dealing with emotions just like they have different abilities in language, logic, mathematics and music. Therefore Emotional Intelligence means “the ability to use your emotions in a positive and constructive way in relationships with others”.

Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence, claims, “Emotional Intelligence based capabilities are twice as important for star performance as IQ and technical skills combined.  Research indicates that the biggest reason that managers fail is poor interpersonal skills.  According to The Centre for Creative Leadership, roughly half of all managers have problems relating to their associates and employees.

It is very important in the present stressful competitive world to be more emotionally confident to improve the quality of our lives.  Using emotional intelligence will help you to…..

• ·         Solve problems by using logic and feelings.
• ·         Be flexible in changing situations.
• ·         Help other people express their needs.
• ·         Calmly and thoughtfully respond to difficult people.
• ·         Keep an optimistic and positive outlook.
• ·         Continuously learn how to improve yourself and your organization.

Manage Your Stage Fear

People suffering from public speaking phobia suffer from stage fright or intense anxiety before making a speech. While a few people may appear natural at this, most of us dread the platform where we have to address an audience or group of people.  Have you ever felt your palms getting sweaty and body shaking in front of a crowd or audience? Don't worry, you are not alone. It's well known that public speaking is a major fear for most people. Instead of letting yourself and your fear of public speaking become a focal point for the audience, you should shift the concentration towards your speech.

Get rid of stage fright by imagining you are someone else, such as a favorite celebrity you admire. One of the best ways to get rid of this condition is to be mentally and physically well prepared. Help yourself get rid of stage fright by practicing your song, dance, monologue, scene or whatever you are performing. The next tip to overcome stage fright is to get comfortable with the place where you will be making the presentation.

Prior to getting up in front of a crowd, envision putting on a great performance. Also envision experiencing all the joy and pleasure you will feel from knowing you put on an excellent performance. Practice in front of people beforehand, and you'll be fine. Although presenting or speaking seems like a test in front of a jury, almost every audience wants you to succeed for the simple reason that you might have the knowledge/information they want.

Improve your Interview Skills

While the first step to landing the job you covet is the application and covering note, the most important hurdle is the interview. To succeed you need to be a step ahead of the interviewer. To do this you must prepare and that to well.

First and foremost you must prepare well. Write a resume that you can back up with facts during the interview. Well before the meeting; prepare yourself by combing through your resume and jotting down successes and failures. Be sure to pen stories that you can relate, just stating facts weakens your position if you can highlight how you succeeded in x, y, or z against most odds that will highlight your skills.

Always dress appropriately for an interview. Most HR persons will check whether a person is well groomed and has clean finger nails and footwear. Wear a clean well pressed suit that is comfortable. Interviews use grooming as one criterion to judge whether a person will fit the company culture.

Be prepared for complex interviews:

• The latest trend is to follow a half hour behavioral interview format. In this method your past experiences and behaviors are tested and used as an indicator of future success.

• Prepare thoroughly. Research as much as possible on the company. Get not just performance information but personal feed back as well. Know about profit, future plans, company structure and culture, as well as HR policies.

• Practice: Answer difficult as well as easy questions. If you practice answering difficult questions then you will not falter at the interview. Focus on strengths, skills, achievements, and what you can bring to the company.

• Surf the World Wide Web and find out what are the most likely questions they ask in an interview. See how well you can answer the commonly asked questions.

It is ideal if you do mock interviews with a career counselor or friend. Try standing in front of a mirror and practice posture as well as speaking. 

Tips:

Arrive at the venue before time. Switch of your mobile or pager.
Keep on hand extra copies of your resume.

• Wish the interviewer or panel with courtesy and sit down only after you are asked. Sit with poise and confidence.

• Speak slowly and clearly and keep calm. If a question is not clear ask for clarifications.

• Collect your thoughts before speaking.

• Be honest about achievements as well as mistakes. Never cover up or lie.

• Ask questions that are relevant to the job you are interviewing for. 

• Be assertive and confident and do not be intimidated by the interviewer or panel.


• On the day of the interview try and prepare for the ordeal ahead by listening to music, doing stretching exercises or yoga, or meditation and breathing. Keep all you need including your clothes ready the day before. Plan how you will travel and if you are driving where you will park the car. Reach the venue early and sit down at a café to eat something light and drink some tea or coffee. Never go to an interview on an empty stomach the queasiness will just be worse.  It is important to be yourself and never ever compromise in your values or what you believe in.

Improve your Communication Skills

When you stop to think about why we need to improve our communication skills today when we are all living in the age of communications, must make you wonder why we need to improve our own social communication skills.

The truth is, that we are all so busy 'communicating' that we aren't really communicating at all. We are all simply reminding others that we are still around. This isn't communicating anything except "Remember me"? There are a heck of a lot of "me's" in this world! And that in itself forms part of the problem. But there are some pretty simple solutions. There's not just one thing but a mixture of things we can all do to improve our communication ability and surprisingly, they are pleasurable to most human beings.

The first 'biggie' we all need to relearn is body language. Many people today below the age of 40 years, seem to have lost the ability to read body language accurately. Body language forms about 80% of our communicating when speaking. We use words but it is the position of our bodies that play an enormous part in assisting the meaning of those words to give the full impact to the verbalisation of the experience, concept or idea.

Urgent or non-urgent information that needs to be relayed will be relayed according to the spoken word but more so due to the urgency with which the words are spoken and the body language displayed. This is a pretty good reason for having people in authoritative positions deciding a course of action in certain events to stop people from panicking. In times of great danger, human beings too often revert to animal instincts and a herd mentality takes over. Having a good communicator relaying life-saving information has been proven many times over to save lives.

We can all improve our communication skills today by simply taking more time to actually communicate.  This means actually talking with people over a period of time. Talking to people about something that you are both interested in, and not just by monopolising one side of the conversation.

Communicating is a two-way street and the 'road rules' need to be observed otherwise you will get a person pulling away from the conversation simply because they are bored to tears or simply not interested. How can you tell if someone is disinterested?  By becoming an observer of body language. Body language is the unspoken but physical meaning behind words. A word placement in a sentence gives a word its nuance; body language gives it the impact.

If you are in business, being able to read body language can save you a heap of money. You are able to discern more accurately whether a client is trying to claim a false refund or whether a salesperson is having your best interests at heart.  If you are looking for better ways to get along with people around you, try improving your communication skills. If you are a family who spends the majority of family time sitting in front of a TV, barely speaking, then turn the TV off and go and sit outside and talk to each other. You will be amazed at what you learn about each other.

Give a Dynamic Presentation

Want to become a master at delivering vibrant, memorable presentations?   Here are 10 strategies for making yourself really come alive when you have the exciting opportunity to stand up in front of a group of people you don’t know.

1: Know Your Audience

In advance, try to find out your listeners’ concerns, interests and possible beliefs regarding the fitness topic you are presenting. What will people expect from you, and how can you best address their needs? For instance, talking to a group of inactive smokers and addressing a group of recreational enthusiasts require two very different speaking strategies and presentations.

2: Define the Essence of Your Presentation

Every year, I work with undergraduate and graduate students who give lectures and presentations to their peers. As the students strive to show how much they know about a subject, they often start to ramble. The solution to this common speaking problem is to focus on the essence of your presentation. What is the essential information you are discussing or delivering? What are your main points? What actions or directions do you want your audience to take? Clearly define the concise objectives and the essence of your presentation, and you will avoid disappointing your audience and embarrassing yourself.

3: Check Out Your Presentation Space

To ensure a successful presentation, it’s crucial to investigate your speaking area before you talk.  Always arrive early, and assess your lecture space for movement if you are going to move. Identify where to place your props (such as bags, dumbbells, tubing or other exercise devices). Determine where demonstrations will best be seen, and familiarize yourself with the audiovisual equipment and room lighting. All of us have had the (sad) opportunity to observe a presenter fumbling with equipment, demonstrating an exercise that no one beyond the first few rows could see or speaking with a microphone that was turned down too low. Remember, not preparing all aspects of your presentation space (and equipment) may undermine much of your professional credibility in the eyes of your audience.

4: Know That It Is Okay to Be Nervous

Being nervous is a good sign. In many respects it shows that you really care about the speech you are about to deliver. One of the best ways to manage nervous tension is to begin your presentation with something that draws your audience toward you, establishing a positive speaker-to- audience connection. Here are some examples. Starting with a relevant quote can be very powerful. Sometimes a brief but entertaining story that is appropriate and related to the topic makes an effective beginning that will help you relax. Another option is to start with a fascinating or even shocking statistics. Some interesting audiovisual display can also provide a compelling way to attract the audience and calm your presentation nerves.

5: Be the Enthusiastic Greeter

As attendees have observed at my speaking sessions, I enjoy being the gregarious greeter of delegates at my presentations. Nowhere is it written that as a speaker you should avoid talking to audience members before your presentation! If you have the time and opportunity, meet and greet members of your audience before you speak. These actions, while building a communication bridge with your audience, will also settle your nerves.

6: Speak With Passion

No one wants to come to a presentation to see a lecturer read his slides. So be sure to select a topic you have great enthusiasm and passion about. Allow that zest to come through as you speak to the audience. If you are not passionate about your topic, how and why will the audience be passionate about listening to you? Allow your energy and motivation to extend to those you are addressing.

7: Wear the Right Attire

Without a doubt, dress appropriately for your listeners. Wear clothes in which you can effortlessly move, speak and interact with the audience and that people will feel comfortable looking at you.  So I always wear sharp slacks and dress shirts, which look “professional” to my audience and allow me to be natural in my movements. Your presentation and the way you look express much about you to your audience. Choose your attire accordingly.

8: Practice, Practice and Practice

Great presentations are not like diffusion in biology—they don’t just happen. When you are underprepared, you will typically be so preoccupied with the wording of the speech that you may fail to develop an energetic, engaging style of communicating with your audience. However, how you practice will really make a difference in how you relate to your audience. Practicing your presentation in front of a mirror can be most enlightening. You can see little facial and bodily mannerisms that you were totally unaware of. Another worthwhile idea is to practice in front of respected colleagues and request their constructive feedback. And since most of us have access to camcorders, filming and reviewing your presentation is another valuable aid.

9: Make Your Presentation Memorable

One of the most helpful activities you can do before a presentation is to ask and answer this question: “Is my presentation memorable?” Have you done the exhaustive research and preparation necessary to present the most applicable, meaningful and attention-grabbing presentation? Most audiences enjoy a varied, stimulating and thought-provoking talk. Only through your conscientious attention to details, facts and information will you be able to provide this.

10: Dare to Be Different

Observe and learn from your fellow colleagues, but allow your presentation style to be different. Really focus on ways that you can distinguish yourself and establish a style unique to you. Try combining your experience, knowledge, passion, beliefs and creativity to develop the exceptional professional image you want to project. You don’t have to be outlandish, as we all have seen presenters who have attempted this strategy and failed. However, dig deep and embody those aspects of yourself that are different from others.

Ready to prepare for a dynamic presentation? Go for it—you can do it!

The Power of Reiki

 Reiki, which is pronounced as 'Ray Key' is a well-known natural energy healing process, which employs the use of ‘laying on’ of hands in order to enhance and improve the overall health of a person and help him balance the life force energy.

Reiki healing is a simple, non-intrusive healing procedure. It is an excellent way to reduce stress, bring in more relaxation and get the mind, body in sync with the spirit.

What exactly is Reiki Healing?

According to oriental medicine, what's causing us to be alive is the life force energy or 'chi' that runs through us. In Japanese, 'Rei' refers to 'Higher Power' and 'Ki' means force of life. When brought together, the word Reiki basically means life force energy guided by spirituality. If this life force energy is down and low, we go through phases of illness, depression and stress. If this same energy is up and high, we feel happy, relaxed and healthy.

Reiki healing is a natural spiritual healing method that is simple, safe and can be used to literally treat almost any kind of health condition.

How does Reiki Healing Actually Work?

Reiki healing is very easy to learn and simple to apply. Even though this healing method is spiritual, you don't really need to have a belief for Reiki to work successfully, although you might end up feeling a lot more connected and in tune to your own religion.

The term healing refers to working on the physical symptoms. When this works in conjunction to the practice of Reiki, there is a greater response and better results as the body returns to wholeness.

The whole healing process works by getting rid of the disease and the pain associated with it, bringing one's whole self closer to the its ideal form. This is done with the practitioner placing his or her hands on the affected person, for the healing to start. The energy is managed on its own and flows through and within the person who is receiving the healing.

The healer does not intervene consciously in any way. The energy is smoothly being directed by a higher power and knows exactly where it needs to go and what needs to be done.

It's the healer's job to actually keep a watch and listen in order to keep the healing space open.

What Kind of Benefits Does Reiki Healing Offer?

When the life's flow of energy is disrupted in someway or is blocked, it usually leads emotional and health problems.

Stress and anxiety, negative and harmful thoughts, disturbing feelings, emotional turmoil or physical trauma, all bring in imbalances, which can lead to more serious health issues if left untreated.

When you're relaxed and free of any stress or worry, it really helps your body to restore its natural, inner ability to heal. Reiki healing not only helps you get rid of unwanted stress, but it also gives you a way to achieve deep relaxation resulting in better sleep. Apart from this, it can also help in:

1. Speeding up the body's natural self.

2. Alleviating and lowering pain.

3. Getting rid of toxins.

4. Assisting the body in recovering from the illness.

5. Supporting and making the immune system stronger.

6. Breaking harmful habits and addictions.

7. Reducing blood pressure.

8. Removing any kind of energy blockages.

9. Balancing and harmonizing the energy flow of the endocrine system.

10. Emotional clearance and spiritual growth.

On the whole, if you practice Reiki the way it needs to be done, it will help you get your body more balanced and enhance its ability to handle stress and anxiety easily and makes your thinking positive and dynamic thereby bringing a total change in your actions

Reflections One

In his book You’ll See It When You Believe It, Dr. Wayne Dyer offers some interesting and helpful suggestions for personal transformation.  A synopsis of these suggestions is shared here for your reflection.

• Practice thinking about yourself and others in formless ways.  Take a few moments each to evaluate yourself in terms of pure thought and feeling.  Watch yourself acting and interacting.  Do not criticize or judge, simply note how your form is behaving and how it is feeling.

• Use the observer exercise (mentioned above) with other people.  Notice how they may destroy their potential for happiness and success because they identify exclusively with their forms.

• Make an effort to go beyond your comfort zone on a regular basis.  Listen to the real you inside who is encouraging you to transcend yourself.

• Make an effort to cease labeling yourself as a means of identifying who you are as a human being.

• Begin to view your mind, your non form side, as new and miraculous.  Know that your mind is capable of transcending your form and that your body is in a larger part controlled by your mind.

• Work each day to clear yourself of the two factors that do the most to inhibit your personal transformation: negativity and judgement.

• Examine how you treat the physical or visible you.

• Allow yourself time to medicate quietly by yourself.  Meditation is a powerful tool, and it is as simple as breathing.  You should choose your own style of meditation.

• Above all else, be kind and understanding of yourself.  Be especially kind to yourself if you behave in a way you dislike.  Talk kindly to yourself.  Be patient with yourself when you find it difficult to be a “holy” person.